Thursday, September 25, 2014
9/25/2014- Update, if you want it :/
Wow...did not know I was so overdue here. I wish I had a happy ending and I was holding our son in my arms right now but tragedy struck us in April.....On April 8th at my 20 week ultrasound I found out our son had several issues with his organs. He passed away when I was 23 weeks pregnant. Words really cant even describe the pain....I gave birth to the most beautiful baby ever, holding him was the greatest joy of my life yet I had never felt such agony. No parent should ever ever ever have to experience what I went through.
We have been pretty all over the board emotionally since then. We have good days and bad days. Some days I just feel cheated and am very hateful but those are becoming far and few between now....we tried counseling but even the counselor was speechless. I tried online support groups but I just could not really find women who went through IVF and then had such a loss. All the other ladies had these stories like "oh, and 3 months later I got pregnant again".....UGH eff you lady.
Natural pregnancy is 100% impossible for us so have to do IVF only....FORTUNATELY, we have some snowflakes at our fertility clinic in Barbados and just recently we booked at date!
Drumrolllll.............we go back January 14th for a January 16th transfer! We are scared shitless but also very excited! What happened to our son was not genetic just crazy fluke anomalies so at least we know that chance of that happening again are non existent but we are scared because what if it is something else next time?! Or what if it doesn't work at all????? That is really my bigger fear of the two because we pay out of pocket for everything and its just so expensive I don't think we can keep going if this transfer does not work.
Got to head abck to work but I prmoise I wont go so long without updates again!
Thanks for reading!
We have been pretty all over the board emotionally since then. We have good days and bad days. Some days I just feel cheated and am very hateful but those are becoming far and few between now....we tried counseling but even the counselor was speechless. I tried online support groups but I just could not really find women who went through IVF and then had such a loss. All the other ladies had these stories like "oh, and 3 months later I got pregnant again".....UGH eff you lady.
Natural pregnancy is 100% impossible for us so have to do IVF only....FORTUNATELY, we have some snowflakes at our fertility clinic in Barbados and just recently we booked at date!
Drumrolllll.............we go back January 14th for a January 16th transfer! We are scared shitless but also very excited! What happened to our son was not genetic just crazy fluke anomalies so at least we know that chance of that happening again are non existent but we are scared because what if it is something else next time?! Or what if it doesn't work at all????? That is really my bigger fear of the two because we pay out of pocket for everything and its just so expensive I don't think we can keep going if this transfer does not work.
Got to head abck to work but I prmoise I wont go so long without updates again!
Thanks for reading!
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