12/29/2014- Had my baseline ultrasound today which was good! Wohoooooo! Started more meds & next scan is January 5th!


Besides that.... Tonight was a disaster! So I started my Heparin injections tonight which are 2x a day and the timing is very strict! I am to draw with a 25g 5/8 needle and the change to a 30g 1/2 for injection. Any who I drew the med and then went to grab the 30g needle and knew instantly it would NOT work! The damn pharmacy gave me the wrong syringes! So I had NO choice than to inject my tummy with the 25g 5/8 and it was terrible! Not only that I guess I didn't screw the tip back on straight so the med started dripping out so I had to pull out and then re stick myself again! DH & I went immediately to walgreens and got the right syringes but it was crappy!

To top it off this evil lupron makes me dead tired during the day! I mean non - functioning tired but then at like 10pm I get a blast of energy & can't sleep! I made flipping brownies at 11pm! Took out the trash, did the dishes etc....I feel like I could run a marathon & earlier I thought I was going to have to leave work bc I couldn't keep my eyes open! WTF

10/6/2014- Am I in HELL?!?!?

So I went in today for my saline infused sonogram that is required before we do our frozen embryo transfer in January... It did not go well. When the doctor injected the saline it came right back out instead of filling my uterus.  So  unfortunately I have scarring in my uterus now. She had to take multiple tries to push the catheter all the way through the uterus but it's definitely pretty bad. She saw that there was possibly leftover placenta in there as well . Ughhhh I just want to scream!

I will need a hysteroscopy in a couple weeks to remove any scar tissue and determine how bad it is. Hopefully my doctor can go in and clean it up and everything will be fine but I'm just so scared because I have the worst luck ever! FML

**UPDATE**
Hysteroscopy went great!  Better than expected actually! 

Video Tribute...tissues needed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTk7dGS471A

9/25/2014- Update, if you want it :/

Wow...did not know I was so overdue here. I wish I had a happy ending and I was holding our son in my arms right now but tragedy struck us in April.....On April 8th at my 20 week ultrasound I found out our son had several issues with his organs. He passed away when I was 23 weeks pregnant. Words really cant even describe the pain....I gave birth to the most beautiful baby ever, holding him was the greatest joy of my life yet I had never felt such agony. No parent should ever ever ever have to experience what I went through.

We have been pretty all over the board emotionally since then. We have good days and bad days. Some days I just feel cheated and am very hateful but those are becoming far and few between now....we tried counseling but even the counselor was speechless. I tried online support groups but I just could not really find women who went through IVF and then had such a loss. All the other ladies had these stories like "oh, and 3 months later I got pregnant again".....UGH eff you lady.

Natural pregnancy is 100% impossible for us so have to do IVF only....FORTUNATELY, we have some snowflakes at our fertility clinic in Barbados and just recently we booked at date!

Drumrolllll.............we go back January 14th for a January 16th transfer! We are scared shitless but also very excited! What happened to our son was not genetic just crazy fluke anomalies so at least we know that chance of that happening again are non existent but we are scared because what if it is something else next time?! Or what if it doesn't work at all????? That is really my bigger fear of the two because we pay out of pocket for everything and its just so expensive I don't think we can keep going if this transfer does not work.

Got to head abck to work but I prmoise I wont go so long without updates again!

Thanks for reading!

 

14 weeks! Before and now!

 

 

2/3/2014- Youtube Link!
http://youtu.be/SWjGqJJ6RLY

1/29/2014- 10 weeks 1 day! Haven't updated in a week because not much has happened. Monday night was my last night for Estrace! So no more blue globs in my vagina WOOHOO! Besides that, I am anxiously awaiting my next ultrasound on Monday....it cant come fast enough! Cant wait to check on our precious baby. I will be 10 weeks 6 days at that ultrasound so I think I will be able to relax more after that scan shows our perfect baby <3


I still don't have sickness so I think I dodged that bullet. I am a lil tired still and continuing to pee at night a lot but it hasn't been that bad. The bloating tho...UGH. It is AWFUL!

1/20/2014- 8 weeks 6 days!  Had my 2nd ultrasound today & we lost baby B :( pretty upset but baby A is doing fantastic (measuring 2 days ahead with a heart rate of 154!) so it helps ease the pain.  It's a rollercoaster of emotions. I guess everything works out as it should though....

1/18/2014- 8 weeks 4 days! Haven't had much to update about which is good! Just peeing a lot at night still and I'm tired on some days but besides that I feel really good! Really hoping that I am dodging the nausea!
My next OB appt is on Monday & I'm so excited to see my babies <3

1/9/2014- 7 weeks 2 days! Still have congestion!  Nothing else really besides peeing a thousand times a night & being a but tired sometimes.  I returned to yoga tonight & got my butt kicked!

1/6/2014- 6 weeks 6 days! Fuck this chest congestion! Over feeling like crap! Being sick while pregnant is shitty & plain scary! My coughs sound horrible! Ughh

1/4/2014- 6 weeks 4 days! Holy chest congestion! Have a lovely cough with the occasional phlegm greeting my sink. On my umpteenth cup of hot lemon water.

1/3/2014- 6 weeks 3 days! Have a cold, sore throat, a lil congestion and was feeling nauseas earlier. NOT FUN!  The whole twin thing is still setting in too lol.

01/02/2014- 6 weeks 2 days!  TODAY IS ULTRASOUND DAY! Been wide awake since 6am! 12:15pm can't get here quick enough!

HOLY CRAP IT'S TWINS!  HEART RATES WERE 122 & 121 BPM!

01/01/2014- 6 weeks 1 day! Happy New Year! I'm glad 2013 is over! December was fantastic (obviously) but the rest can go screw itself! It was a very stressful & challenging year for us but it ended on the perfect note....us pregnant! We are so ready to conquer 2014! Nothing but positive energy & positive thoughts this year.  I mean after all, we will meet our baby this year! 2014 is incredible already! August can't come quick enough!
Only one more day until we see our baby's heartbeat!  <3

I can barely contain myself! Too much anxiety! Feels like a million butterflies in my stomach! TOMORROW CANT GET HERE FAST ENOUGH!