12/31/2013- 6 weeks today! Ultrasound Is only 2 days away!

My heart was beating fast midday and I started to feel a lil light headed. It's still there but its subsided slightly.

Omg my feet are FREEZING! They have been cold the past couple nights but this is insane!  I have tube socks, 2 pairs of slipper socks on covered with actual slippers & the still feel like ice!

 Ok...I'm a lil freaked out. Not sure why but I started pushing on my lower abdomen when I was laying on the couch just now & noticed this hard lump that's maybe 2 inches long 1 by inch wide that is only on my left side. It runs down to just before my pubic bone. It's just off the side of my uterus. That whole side is actually a lil firmer when I feel up to my hip bone. The other side is completely soft & normal. It doesn't hurt but I'm wondering what this hard lump is!

12/30/2013- 5 weeks 6 days!  Only 3 days until my ultrasound!!!!!! I am SO sleepy today at work! Not a huge surprise though since I didn't sleep to well last night! I have been waking up earlier than I need to. Guess my body is trying to prepare me(: My body definitely needs more sleep than it used to!
Forgot to mention that yesterday after I woke up for my Heparin injection at 8:15am I fell back asleep an hour later and slept until noon LOL....been awhile since I've done that! Sad part is that I could've slept even longer but my growling belly made me pry myself out of the warmth of my blankets.

So I've been having these sharp pains on my upper butt to the sides of each tailbone.  I first noticed it maybe 3 days ago but these pains are becoming more frequent.  I mostly notice them right when I stand up & then start walking around.  It tends to calm after I walk a lil bit but doesn't 100% go away. Massaging the area helps a lot but it's pretty sore. No clue if this is pregnancy related or not but just something to notate.

Ok...DEAD fucking tired all damn day & evening & then bam insomnia.  WTF?!

12/29/2013- 5 weeks 5 days!  Still nothing really going on. Not feeling too pregnant but guess I shouldn't complain as some women are extremely ill early on. Don't want to jinx it either because I know I am still early I'm the game. I feel good tho! A lil tired in the afternoon/evening so I have been taking naps. Peeing a few times in the middle of the night but I've honestly had that problem before.  Not nightly like it has been but I remember a couple months ago that I was peeing a lot.  I am drinking lots more water now too which I'm sure has a part to play.  Haven't had my cramping in a few days & my stomach and back hasn't hurt at night either in a couple days which is good I think lol....well for my pain purposes at least.

I'm returning to yoga on Tuesday which I'm ecstatic about! It's been a flipping month of no exercise & my body just feels blah. I don't know how I lived without yoga in my life before!

Omg Thursday needs to hurry the hell up! I wanna see our gummy bear and heart beat damn it!

I'm such a nerd. I already can't flipping sleep lol. At this rate pretty sure I won't sleep a wink the night of!

12/28/2013- 5 weeks 4 days! Holy crap I think I got up from bed to pee 5 damn times last night! Isn't it too early for this?! Lol.....and holy bloating,  yuck! I look pregnant already!  I'll definitely be picking up some delicious prune juice this weekend!  :x

5 days until my ultrasound(but who's counting)!  Yipeee! :D

Forgot to mention I've noticed my heart has been racing off and on the past few days.  Also having heart palpitations.  I have had this before but they are usually pretty good spread out. Weeks to months apart but they have been pretty frequent lately.  I read online it's pretty common but I will definitely be bringing it up at my appointment this week!

12/27/2013- 5 weeks 3 days!  Not too much going on today. I'm really tired, thirsty & I want pickles lol. Only 6 more days until my ultrasound!

12/26/2013- 5 weeks 2 days! Got incredible news! My beta today was 3,388!!! It doubled perfectly since Saturday! I am in shock but so unbelievably happy!! Symptom wise I got that queasy feeling again today around 9 30-10am....love that feeling (: and my tummy and back are hurting again which is no fun. Antacids & heating pads for me!

12/25/2013- 5 weeks 1 day! Mery X-Mas! Woke up to painful cramping around 3 am. It was a combination of af like cramps & gas/bloating pain. It only last a half hour thankfully but definitely didn't feel to great.  I've also got up to pee a good 4x in the middle of the night.  Next beta is tomorrow..... my X-mas wish is that everything is good & this baby will finally give us a nice stong number so I can't stop worrying so much!

Started feeling queasy for a few seconds again this morning. Hope this means my hcg is shooting up! <3

Getting some cramping a lil bit after 12 am.  Can't decide if I like or hate getting these things. They feel just like AF cramps but with gas pains too.
 On the good side they make me feel like something is growing well & getting comfy in there and that my uterus is stretching but on the latter I worry of eptopic or abnormal pregnancy with my slow rising hcg levels.  Double edge sword when I get them.

4th beta tomorrow! Please baby be good! Please! Just sky rocket on me <3

12/24/2013- 5 weeks today! Went to acupuncture last night which helped calm my worried mind. I'm just so scared of losing this pregnancy.  We want it so bad. Nothing much besides that... no cramping again last night & having a watery discharge that seems to run out & makes a mess a couple times a day. Two more days until my next beta. C'MON NUMBERS,  RISE, RISE, RISE & BREW US A HEALTHY BABY!

12/23/2013- 4 weeks 6 days/15dp5dt! Going to FREAK THE FUCK OUT!  I just called my OB this morning and of course got the ONE bitchy nurse in the office who kinda blew me off and was like "if you don't hear from me by the afternoon then call back." I even told her I hardly slept waiting for these and that I knew the results were already there from the lab but the lazy beeotch would not go to the damn fax and look for them like the other nurses! GRRRR.
Besides that I never got my cramping last night which is good....yet, I worried now that I didn't get it! Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I am going to SNAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

*UPDATE* My 3rd beta wasn't too great Its 585. STILL rising but not near doubling. They say 48-72 hours to double but that would be 81 hours. My OB's office is still optimistic but I cant help read statistics online. Next beta is Thursday.

12/22/2013- 14dp5dt! Ended up having my mild cramping off and on all night. Even having them now at 9am. They feel like a burning ache. They are uncomfortable.

Had a queasy moment this morning cooking breakfast. It literally lasted maybe 2-3 seconds....I liked it won't lie (: and holy HORMONES today. I'm not a hormonal person generally but today WATCH OUT. Every little thing was making my blood boil lol. I'm also very tired today. Love feeling these things.

3rd beta results tomorrow! I am a complete nervous wreck but I feel pretty optimistic that everything is going to be ok!

*I guess my cycle of starting cramping @ 11pm  is over.  It's 12:20am & nothing. I am wide awake too. So anxious for these damn results tomorrow!! Ughhhh!

12/21/2013- 13dp5dt! Had my 3rd beta drawn today but since it's Saturday I won't get the results until Monday.....what a torturous wait. Feeling good still, not feeling "too pregnant" but I am so early (only 4 weeks, 4 days) so it's common to not have any. Most women in NON - IVF world would only be 2-3 days late for their period.  I am peeing a whole lot today tho & I haven't drank that much! I am also pretty tired.

*PM update: Night cramps are back at it again. Oh, and guess the time they started?...11:15pm!  So strange that they are only around 11pm! They are mild at least. More uncomfortable than anything.
Cramps stopped after 10 - 15 min then returned around 12:30am. They are mild/moderate.  I took -one- Tylenol.  I just don't like taking any meds while pregnant!

12/20/2013-12dp5dt!

My fertility clinic just responded & said that my 2nd beta is good & the important thing is that it is rising. They don't want another blood test for one week! I can't wait that longgggg! My OB ants to do another tomorrow so I am going with that! :)

I need to stop looking into proper doubling time & percentages online but It's so dang hard ! I just want this pregnancy to be ok <3           

Had cramps again last night around 11-11:30pm but they only lasted around 20 min. The don't feel wonderful tho. Feel just af cramps still.  I am actually cramping again now here at 11:45pm. Mid back is also sore again.  Hope this means my hcg is rising!  C'mon baby!!! GROW!  <3

12/19/2013- 11dp5dt!  Beta was 392.  Lower than I expected but not terrible.  Double would have been 510. My OB was still happy & she said "not everyone is textbook." That made me feel better because that really applies to everything regarding me. I always have weird quirks!  Now I just need my fertility clinic to respond on when they want me to do another beta. They were already closed today when the results came in to my OB's office.  C'mon baby bean growwwww! <3

Beta doubling time 77 hours. 54% Increase.

12/19/2013- 11dp5dt! Had some cramps last night that lasted longer than the 15-20 min that they have been. They lasted a 2-3 hours.  My stomach was also hurting again during the middle of the night.  Needless to say I slept like shit.

I am at the infusion center now getting my 2nd intralipid Infusion today. The have it on a 2 hour drip so I am spread out in the recliner with a blanket & the lights off lol. At least they have a TV in here. My eyes are pretty heavy tho so good chance I may zonk out during this last hour.  After this I have to head to the hospital for my 2nd beta test.....can't wait for that result!  I have a good feeling tho <3

12/18/2013- 10dp5dt! Got my 1st beta result today from yesterday's blood draw!  It was 255! Very happy! I go for my 2nd beta tomorrow but I found a lab where I can get same day results so I won't have to wait until the next day again! Fingers & toes crossed for doubling numbers!

12/16/2013- 8dp5dt! Took another test with fmu & line is darker again! When I was wiping  some of my goo build up out of me afterwards I noticed these strange dried blood specks that were reddish brown. I did have cramping this am too. They started around 6 am that got pretty painful for about 10 min then were pretty much gone by 6:25am. They feel just like AF cramps before I start my period but they are in shorter duration.  I read they are normal but they do freak me out regardless.

**E-mailed the clinic and my beta test was moved up to tomorrow from Friday!!!!! Ultrasound Is January 2nd @ 12:15pm!  Is this real life??

*Update: Sore/painful stomach and mid/upper back ache returned in the evening.  Ouch on both :/

12/15/2013- 7dp5dt!  Still having mild cramping off & on but nothing else really. Feeling good & more optimistic today. I poas again today & it was positive again & the line was darker which made me feel pretty damn happy!

HPT 6dp5dt

12/14/2013-  6dp5dt!  Had cramps again today. I caved and tested once more. Definite line this time.  I am still cautiously optimistic however. My stomach is hurting again and my mid/upper back pain is returning.  Besides that feeling good!

Hpt 5dp5dt

Top test is 4dp5dt,  bottom is 5dp5dt.

Test 5dp5dt.  Still wet. 

12/13/2013- 5dp5dt! Feeling symptomless still.  I did have a light dull ache/burny cramp for a few hours late this morning but nothing else. I know lots of women have tons of symptoms and get a BFN's so they don't mean anything but maybe I'd feel more better if I had symptoms.  I am cautiously optimist though.  We put 2 beautiful embryos in there.....just need one to stick <3

*Evening update: dull ache has returned.  Feels like AF type cramps.  Hpt showed a squinter tonight.  Leaning towards an evaporation line since it's so early.  Retesting tomorrow to check!

12/12/2013- 4dp5dt! Flew home today.  I hate airports.....ugh. Cramps stayed away again last night. Feeling nothing out of the norm yet. I know it's still too early anyways tho.  Can't believe we will know next week if we got a BFP! Exciting yet scary....we want it so bad! Stomach and mid/upper back are killlllling me tonight. Can't sleep at all. Tums & Tylenol doing nothing!

12/11/2013- 3dp5dt!  No cramping last night,  woohoo! Feeling really good, just bloated.  Sad that we leave Barbados tomorrow :(

12/10/2013- 2dp5dt!  My night cramps returned & got pretty painful last night. I think it's the progesterone. They started happening at night the night after ER which is when I started crinone but they stopped for the last couple nights (minus a dull ache). They started mild at 9 PM and by 12 am were picking up & woke me from my sleep at 130am. It's a burning deep ache. I was happy they stopped before ET but now it's kinda freaking me out. Hope it doesn't mess implantation up . I am also very curious why the cramping is ONLY at night!

 I messaged my clinic about the cramping and she had me pop over for a scan (the clinic is literally next door to where we are staying) she said I do have enlarged ovaries but not OHSS. She said the cramping is most likely from my ovaries shrinking back down. She said they taking up my whole abdomen almost and the pressure can make it feel like it is actually the uterus cramping. She wasn't concerned at all tho which made me feel a lot better!

Besides that I feel happy,  healthy & positive! Although I am bummed that we only have one more beach day :(

12/09/2013- 1dp5dt! Feeling really good! Got an email that we have 7 frozen snowflakes <3 I was just hoping for 4 so 7 is absolutely amazing!  Overjoyed although hopefully they aren't needed. It's just nice to have the comfort of a security blanket. I am having some mild dull/ache cramp that started late in the evening.  Nothing besides that.

12/8/2013- Had my embryo transfer today!  2 gorgeous blasts got all snuggled into place! It was an amazing experience! I was extremely bloated today though omg. So uncomfortable.

12/7/2013- No update on the embies today but embryo transfer is at 9 am tomorrow OMG! Nausea is better, thank gawd & loaded up on Tylenol so I slept better.
12/6/2013- I have 8-8 cell embryos, 1-6 cell and 1-4 cell! Still lull getting nauseous during the day :(
These night cramps suckkkkk, not sleeping good.
12/5/2013- 9 of 10 embryos from yesterday divided properly and another that was initially fertilized caught up so I still have 10! Eff you nausea.  Started crinone....Holy bad cramping at night.  Ouch. Also insomnia & crazy dreams! I was a pilot & over shopper lol.
12/4/2013- Embryologist called & 12 eggs were mature & 10 fertilized! Feeling sore still but it's the nausea that's Killin me!
12/3/2013 - Egg retrieval went well got 18 eggs! Very sleepy, bloated & sore.

12/01/2013- Second scan wasn't as great today. Two of my follicles grew too fast measuring 19mm and a few are between 14-16mm. ...The rest are too small.  Definitely discouraging.  Egg retrieval Is Tuesday December 3rd at 730am.  Really hope my follicles even out. HCG trigger @8pm!

11/29/2013-  Had my 1st scan at the clinic today! I had 18-20 follicles between 12-14mm! I also had my intralipid Infusion today!